Lined With Silver

i’m not a writer. but i’m constantly writing in order to feel a little bit sane. 

i write to piece things together. to make sense of the mess of images and feelings and thoughts and emotions that make up my life. i don’t write with the intention of changing someone’s life. i don’t write with the intention of telling a story that other people would be interested in reading.

i write to clear my head space so that i could breathe again. because so much shit happens. so much goes on. there’s so many people with different stories and they all hold different spaces in your life and i overthink. i overthink everything. 

i see my life as a story. with the people and events that happen all correlating together to create this streamline story. i never really see things simply. i try to see things as simply as i can after i piece it all together after i think everything to death. but my head gets so flooded with all these thoughts that are rarely coherent so i write. i write it all out so that it’s tangible. so that i could read it back later and come to a conclusion. so that i could breathe. so that i could be capable of breathing. because things get foggy. things get complicated. for someone who romanticizes everything and overthinks so much. writing is a necessity. 

i’m an escapist, but writing forces me to face things. which is so important. confronting the things you think about and the things you feel because it’s real. you’re a real person who’s living every day and it’s so easy to hide. it's so easy to forget about a text. it’s so easy to disappear and get lost in a television show or a book or a movie. but writing is something honest. it’s something i can’t hide behind.